Laravel - evn sometimes returning null after javascript location.reload();

Im having a problem where laravel is sometimes returning null for my environment variables after location.reload(); What makes it really annoying is that it doesent seem to be 100% reproducable and i cant pin down in what exact situations it happens.

In my blade tempalte i have the follwoing code:

<?php
$env = env('asdfasdf');
if($env != null){
    print "<!-- not null " . env('asdfasdf') . " -->";
} else {
    print "<!-- null " . env('asdfasdf') . " -->";
}
?>

On first page load i always get <!-- not null asdfasdf -> as the result. But when i trigger javascript location.reload(); then sometimes i get <!-- null -->.

Any ideas?

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